Mysore Musings Part I: Of Food Sections and Football Fanatics

Hail Fufys!!

In response to the call of BitchFufy, Bling, Black, Condy, Gandhi, Knurd, Dumbass and FireballFufy all set off to Mysore for a weekend trip that promised to be a fun-filled one, and as always, a trip that lived up to the expectations of the Fufys. We left behind FatFufy, who was bravely toiling away at the Graduate Retarded Examination, trying to remember if ponderous meant –clumsy on account of being massive, or to think a lot.

(For the non-GRE, it means the former. This was my “Monk” word when I was studying for GRE myself  )

We were asked to assemble at the Satellite Bus Stand by 3 PM by our Manager, Operations, but anyone who has travelled with Knurd knows that a half-hour delay is inevitable. So leave we did at 3.30, boarding a Rajahamsa, much against the dire warnings of BitchFufy. We later realized how true he was, when our bus trundled on painfully slowly, repeatedly being outstripped by slum-children running behind rolling tyres. The only good part of this was the amount of leg-space the bus provided, a fact thoroughly appreciated by Condy, who usually has to fold himself several times to fit anywhere.

With the Fufys catching up for the first time post-IPL, thejourney was used to describe each match seen in great detail, unanimously denounce the performance by Akon as well as the terrible SA President Jacob (Monte) Zuma. The conversation was a lively as ever, and soon turned to namma NITK, and its yearbook. The latest edition, and its esteemed Joint Editor (PrematureFufy) were discussed at length, and it was agreed that the Timepass Section was without a doubt, the highlight of the book. While Dumbass chose to bask in the glory of having written that, Fireball went on to commend the Travel section. The following bit of dialogue ensued:
Fireball: “Travel section was too good da maga! Exsilent!”
Other Fufys: “Ya ya.. Too good too good..”
Condy: “How was Food section?”
Other Fufys: “????”
Fireball: “That was also..good right?”
Condy: (volume going sky-high) “There was no Food section you jackass! Have you even read the damn thing!?”
Other Fufys: *rofl*
Fireball: “Oh…No trick questions man!”

After a general lull in the conv as the Fufys slept off (Fireball continued to read “The Curious Incident of the Dead Dog”), Dumbass sat observing the other fellow-travelers on the bus. Seeing that some people in the front were using sign language to communicate, he gets all excited.
Dumbass: “Ey look da maga! They’re playing DC!”
Knurd: “No. That guy’s deaf.”

Dumbass lives upto his name yet again!

Several hours later, and several phone calls by a supremely (un)concerned BitchFufy, who kept calling to laugh at all of us, and Dumbass in particular, we reached the ancient town of Mysore. While Knurd went away to down a quick large one with one of his aged relatives, the rest of the gang trooped to their place of residence for the next 4 days – FufyMansion.

“Mathru Chhaya”, No.182, 10th Cross, 3rd Stage, Gokulam, Mysore, is a palace. 3 floors, 4 massive bedrooms (all with attached bathrooms-one with a tub, others with tissue paper, room freshener, Pantene, random soaps all in place), one garage to play football, a gazebo in the making on the terrace, plasma TV with surround sound…..as ConFufy put it –“Best thing to have happened to mankind! Take it!”

After dinner at Nalpak(more on this later), the Fufys went back to the mansion. While Bitch prowled around with 8000 keys trying to unlock the place, Dumbass and Fireball went away to get the booze. The Fufys whiled away the time till midnight, when the Champions League Final was scheduled to begin. Not Dumbass though. He drank, messaged someone, and smiled. He was going to spend the rest of the night doing these three things, hardly watching the match, not playing garage-football, taking his phone along for his fag-break… We wondered what was happening….Shady…

The match began at the scheduled time, as did the boozing, Gandhi joining in with a glass of coke. The Fufys were divided into two camps, the Barca fans – Con, Condy, Bitch, Fireball and Knurd(?), the ManU fans – Black, Dumbass and Gandhi.
The match was, as anyone who saw it will agree, a great one, but what will remain with the Fufys for the rest of their lives was the performance that followed the match.
After the match, ManU supporters – Black. Barca supporters – the rest.

A thoroughly inebriated Blackfufy went on the rampage, rolling around the floor and moaning around about how ManU deserved to win, failing to acknowledge that they had just been beaten black and blue by Barca. He then began cornering one Fufy after another, and subjecting each one to lengthy, meaningless discourses about his beloved team, and why they deserved to win. (When Dumbass was cornered, he messaged, drank, and smiled).
This horrible show was to continue for a good half-hour, with the Fufys seeing no way out from this black death. When he began having disagreements with the furniture at FufyMansion, BitchFufy decided enough was enough, and called upon Knurd to put a stop to this menace. Knurd was finally able to quell his darker half, and peace was restored to the Mansion.

Dumbass and Gandhi then started fussing around about how they had to go back home the next morning. While Gandhi said he’ll try to convince his parents even though he had legitimate reasons to return, Dumbass would have nothing of that kind, having no discernible reason whatsoever to return. Very shady yet again…Why so keen to get back to Bangalore?

We'll leave you on that enigmatic note, and be back with more on the next installment of...Mysore Musings!